It’s been said that grief is the price that we pay for love…
While I was home recently in Montreal I had the opportunity to speak to several people who had experienced a significant loss, so I wanted to take a moment to talk more about grief.
As you know I’ve been Neonatal ICU nurse and a Licensed Grief Counselor/Coach for several years. I’ve heard so many heart wrenching personal stories relating to grief and loss and I’ve had the honor of working with many families who have lost a newborn baby in the ICU.
I’m passionate about helping people learn more about grief because I know that if you don’t grieve your losses you will get stuck in your pain, which in turn can impact other areas of your life.
We have to remember that in order to truly begin to heal we have to go through the pain of grief. I know that doesn’t sound like fun, but it’s necessary.
Grief is universal.
We will all experience grief in our lives at one time or another. But, although grief is a universal experience our individual grief is as unique as we are.
No one else can experience your grief the way that you do.
For example, you could have two siblings in one family and each one has a different relationship with the loved one who has died and because of that their individual grief will be a reflection of that relationship.
Grief does not look a certain way so you can’t just look at someone and determine if they are grieving or not grieving.
There are several stages of the grieving process including numbness, depression, anger, bargaining and acceptance to name a few and you may stay in one stage longer than another.
We live in a society that tends to avoid grief and pain in general. We want to cover it up, numb it with drugs or alcohol and other types of addictions.
But the thing is… grief has to be faced and worked through.
We were never really taught how to grieve and the importance of going through the grieving process.
Margaret Mead once said: “When a person is born we rejoice and when they’re married we jubilate, but when they die we try to pretend nothing has happened.”
Because grief hurts and we don’t like experiencing pain.
Grief is supposed to hurt. We have to feel the pain so that we can heal the pain.
Grief is not a sign of weakness. It’s what God gave us to deal with our losses.
It’s what helps us to find our new normal.
It’s okay to cry, to be sad, to talk or write about your loss and to remember.
Grief has to be dealt with… it doesn’t go away just because you ignore it or don’t talk about it. It just waits. It waits for you to deal with it.
Decide that you’re going to grieve well. Understand that grief takes time, don’t rush it. Keep it real and face your truth.
Matthew 5:4 says: Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.
Blessings and peace,
Follow my grief page on Instagram @griefandlife_